Dammit man, that's the only known picture of Captain Jock 'Alice' McGregor, wearing his Gordon Highlander uniform.

Whilst the Highlanders certainly put the 'Gay' in Gordon there is little doubt that Jock was as straight as the next man.*

Now, it's a given that he never married, but he always had a place for penniless sailors, choirboys and scout masters. Indeed, he often walked the dockside looking for them.

To imply that he was a cross dresser or frequented the YMCA is outrageous, Jock was incredibly good with colours, light on his feet and such was his innate sense of fair play that he said he would always join the other team for batting practice if they were a man short, but he never wore a police uniform, red indian uniform or builders hat in his life.

It's true he was removed from Eton for jumping too low in the leap frog, but then haven't we all?

I well remember the first time I met Jock and the words of comfort and advice he gave me. He told me, "there's no need to feel down"  that I should, "pick yourself off the ground"  and that just because I was "new in town there was no need to be unhappy". He told me "young man, there's a place you can go, when you're short on your dough", that I could "stay there" and he was sure I would "find many ways to have a good time"  and even that "You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel ..."
Why, he even offered to take me there himself, and had it not been for the unmistakeable sound of a police whistle in the street outside, I'm sure he would have. It seems he suddenly remembered a prior engagement which, as the running footsteps got closer, necessitated him  removing his clip-on moustache, grabbing his leather case and leaping out of the window.

Alas Jock, along with the mess funds, were never to be seen again.

The only picture we have to remember him by is the one that he and his long term partner Barbara** posed for on the coffee bottle.

So leave it out with the snide innuendo eh?



Threep.


*Believed to be a reference to Johnny 'Cinnamon Buns' MacLeish.

** Inventor of the first combined false 'tache, beard and turban set.